By Ogunbowale, Tolulope Christianah
Let me be honest with you. I have spent far too many evenings scrolling through my phone, looking at other people’s lives, and feeling that familiar sting in my chest. Sometimes, I think about how beautiful the lives of people are. That quiet voice whispering, “Why can’t my life look like that?”
Maybe you know that voice too. Maybe you have stood in your own space, stared out the window and wondered if you took a wrong turn somewhere. Maybe you have looked at your neighbour’s new car, your colleague’s promotion, your friend’s picture-perfect holiday and felt that small ache of “not enough.”
We have all heard the saying: “The grass is always greener on the other side.” Our parents said it. Our friends echo it. And what do we do? We nod, smile and then go right ahead and stare over the fence anyway. Why do we do that? Why is it so hard to be happy with what we already hold in our hands? Why can’t we make what we already have better for others to envy?
Let me tell you about a friend of mine. For years, he dreamt of a bigger house, a better job, a fancier car. He was sure happiness was waiting for him somewhere else. So he chased it. He changed jobs three times, still in search of greener pastures. He moved to a new city. He bought the car.
And you know what happened? Nothing changed. Well, everything changed on the outside. But inside? He still felt empty. Because the problem was never the house or the job. The problem was that he kept looking over the fence instead of watering his own garden. Isn’t that what we all do sometimes?
We scroll through social media and see perfect lives, perfect marriages, perfect vacations, perfect children. And we think, “Why can’t my life look like that?” But here is the truth, nobody posts their bad days. Nobody shows the arguments, the bills, the tears. Nobody washes their dirty linen in the public. We compare our behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s staged post. The grass is not greener over there. It is just filmed from a better angle.
So when does the grass actually become greener? When does our own life start to feel good enough? It happens when we stop chasing and start focusing on our lives. When we look at what we already have and decide to make it better. Not because we have to, but because we want to.
Think about it. A garden does not grow overnight. You plant seeds. You water them. You pull out the weeds. You wait. Some days, it rains. Some days, the sun burns too hot. But you keep showing up. And slowly, things begin to bloom. Life works the same way. Green grass does not come from wishing. It comes from watering.
Now, does that mean you should never want more? Of course not. Wanting more is human. Desiring more is not wrong. Dreaming is healthy. But there is a big difference between wanting to grow and always wanting someone else’s life. Are you building your own garden? Or are you just staring at your neighbour’s?
Sometimes, the grass really is greener somewhere else. Sometimes, you do need to leave. A bad job, a toxic relationship, or a city that never felt like home. Walking away is not always giving up, it is growing up. You should leave because you are walking toward something better, not because you are running away from boredom. Do not think someone else’s life will fix yours because it will not.
Besides, the greenest grass you will ever find is the grass you decide to love. The life you choose to water every single day. Even when it looks brown. Even when it feels dry. Even when everyone else’s yard seems better. So stop peeking over the fence. Put down the binoculars. Pick up the watering can. Sit in your own sunshine. Pull your own weeds. And one day, you will look around and realise something beautiful and you notice that the grass became greener right where you were standing. It just needed you to stay.
At the end of the day, isn’t that what we all want? To feel at home in our own lives? The grass is not greener on the other side. It is greener where you water it. And guess what? You have been holding the hose all along. So, let’s start watering and nurturing the grass and see how well it will turn out.
